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Contents: (click at blue dot to read chosen section)
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Chapter Two: Loving and Serving the People
SERVING THE PEOPLE, “the least of His brethren,” being with them in their woes and cheers, and fighting with them for a just social and political order – that was how Cita spent the greater part of her time. That was how she lived her life, right from the time she was about to say goodbye to her teenage years, until the very eve of her passing. From the Schools to the Fields As I wrote in a webpage dedicated to her memory: “It was at St. Paul College–Manila (SPCM) High School where she developed and practiced her capabilities for leadership, management and communication. It was also with her alma mater, specifically its off-campus extra-curricular educational activities that she developed her choice of what to use all those capabilities for: a social conscience and commitment to the upliftment of the least of His brethren. “It was this sense of commitment that made her forgo what would have been a medical career that was to start after she passed the entrance examinations at the University of the Philippines. She enrolled, instead, in schools where the students were being effectively disempowered by school authorities under the pervading atmosphere of a martial law dictatorship. This commitment eventually brought her to the mountains and fields of Central Luzon, and she was happiest among simple peasant families who grew to love both her leadership capabilities and her sincere personal bonding with them.” People’s Writer and Advocate* My webpage account continued: “When the dictatorship was deposed, she took on new roles within the same consistent framework of untiring service to the people. She became a leading advocate of press freedom, women’s rights, and people’s empowerment, working as a contributing writer to various publications (like Health Alert, journal of the Health Action Information Network or HAIN; Pinoy Overseas Chronicle, a magazine for overseas Filipino workers; Press Freedom Advocate, the magazine of the Philippine Movement for Press Freedom); the editor of one (Bidlisiw, of the Women’s Development Technologies Institute or WDTI); a tandem-columnist (with me) in another (“Sayad sa Lupa” in Masa, a weekly newspaper in Filipino); and a broadcaster (co-hosting a weekly program “Kamalaysayan sa Himpapawid” over dzME). She was also part of the Institute for Popular Democracy (IPD) and a member of the Philippine chapter of Amnesty International. Of all her involvements, she gave the most time to the Philippine Movement for Press Freedom or PMPF and Laban sa Kanser or LAKAS. For PMPF she was functioning as my close-in teammate in all its endeavors. Many things people were crediting me for were actually her work, or at least were made possible by our teamwork, but she never even aspired to become an officer of that media alliance. We followed the same pattern, only in reverse, when she founded LAKAS (which antedated a political party that has also come to carry this name). I was, however, part of its Founding Board. Such was our partnership, our teamwork. Cita also supported me completely in my first four book projects published under the informal “cottage-industry publishing house” called “EDUCAR” (to educate), a name which combined the first letters of our respective names. Speaking at the formal launching in February 1990 of the very first Educar book titled The Philippines, A Century Thence (An Open Letter to Rizal), veteran human rights lawyer and PMPF founder Ricardo C. Valmonte, expressed his familiarity with our teamwork. Valmonte said: “As you should all know, it is Cita, not Ed, that we should congratulate on this occasion. Without Cita, Ed could not have written this book!” So right Ric was! Cita was my low-profile co-author, editor and proofreader in all my book projects. And when I had to concentrate on them, she had to do alone all the work that had to be done at home, sans the little contribution I was usually able to make. The three other books under my authorship that Educar published before she died were Biped on the Blue Ball: The Supposed-Sapiens Who Laughed at the Dodo (1990), Tiwakal: Dying for Dollars (1991); and Ka Andres! Ang Tindi N’yo! (1993). My fourth book was actually the PMPF-published Press Freedom: The People’s Right (1992).
Spirit Within the Activist Cita clearly described her active service to our people as her utmost priority, when she wrote in her diary about her activism: “Realizing the few things most important to me, my mind raced to the concluding point. In fact, it felt as if a voice whispered it to me: ‘it’s what you’ll leave behind and not what you’ll bring’ (that is the most important). “Then, I thought, my friends will remember only the essentials – the essentials again! “Looking back, it was my activism I instantly thought about. All of my adult life and one year of my teenage years (a total of 21 years out of 38) were spent in activism and advocacy work. “It wasn’t a simple and easy choice. It exacted a heavy toll on myself and on my family. Yet, I feel a sense of fulfillment that I had spent my short adult life in activism and that it had been the most important thing for me. Because it meant upholding my ideals, challenging what is wrong, oppressive and unjust (realities I get so indignant and restless about), and protecting and gaining some victories for the weak, oppressed and deprived.” Indeed it exacted a heavy toll on her and our family! There was a time (as there were long stretches of other times), about a year before our 14-year struggle bore fruit in mobilizing the teeming millions of our people in toppling the dictatorship, that we couldn’t live as a family in a single house and she could only be with our younger son who was then just a year old. After a visit to our elder son who was just three years old, and having to leave him again in tears, she wrote him a very touching letter intended to be read much later, part of which says… “Nalulungkot at nababalisa na naman ako. Iniwan kita sa iyong lola na umiiyak. Inisip ko na lang sa sarili ko, habang papasakay ako sa sasakyang pabalik sa trabaho, na sadyang di mo talaga maiintindihan bakit kita kailangang iwanan ngayon…nang matagal. “Anak, di ko talaga gustong iwanan kita sa lola mo. Kaya lang, kailangan akong makapagtrabaho. Kung hindi’y hindi tayo makakatagal sa klase ng pamumuhay na ating kinalalagyan. “Anak, ang iyong mga magulang ay kabilang sa mga lumalaban para sa kalayaan. Kaya mabigat ang tinitiis namin, at karamay na ang lahat ng mga mahal namin sa buhay na umaasa sa amin. “Anak, maiintindihan mo rin kami, ang sinasabi namin ng iyong tatay, kapag pinag-aaralan mo na ang iyong paligid, ang ating lipunan.” “I am sad and restless again. I just left you with your grandmother and you were crying. So I just kept in mind, while taking the ride that would bring me back to my work, that you really would not be able to understand why i have to leave you now for a long stretch of time. “Son, I really don’t want to leave you with your grandmother. But I really have to work. Otherwise the life we have been made to bear would be unbearable. “Son, your parents are among those who have been fighting for freedom. This is why we have to endure heavy sacrifices, and sharing our burden are all our loved-ones and dependents. “Son, you will eventually understand us, what I and your father have been saying, as soon as you are able to analyze our conditions, our society.” Her confidence in the rightness of her/our decision to give our all for the cause was somewhat shattered when, visited by a priest-friend in her sickbed a few months before she died, she was forced into a change of paradigm. She wrote in her diary (April 25, 1994): “Ton (Danenberg) and I have developed a unique friendship the past two months. We would always – well, frequently – have philosophical exchanges on his visits to me. “…I asked Ton, ‘Do you think it’s possible that exploitation and oppression of man by man can be removed from the earth? Because there’s a way of looking at this problem as part of the nature of life here on Earth, and if it were integral to its nature, then it would always be there.’ “Ton’s answer was not explicit, not categorical. I gathered that his answer was between a ‘NO’ and a ‘NOT SURE.’ “Immediately, I felt sadness as another fiber of me seemed to have died again. I had given my life to the dream that with Marxist-Leninist socialism, exploitation and oppression of man by man would be eradicated. But after learning about the CPs of the former USSR, Eastern Europe and China, I had seriously doubted the CPs’ capability to realize that dream. And knowing the Philippine CP, this doubt has seriously grown. “Now Ton’s ‘No’ or ‘Not Sure’ answer confirmed this doubt. But in my deep sadness, his subsequent explanation gave comfort. He said, ‘but that (the dream’s plausibility) is not the more important thing’. “ ‘What is more important is that we do not sit idly by as we see on our right our fellow humans hungry and homeless, and on our left, our fellow humans oppressed and abused, on our right. What is more important is that we go on fighting, resisting these evils as our ancestors and predecessors have done, and as our descendants and successors will do.’ “I felt blessed and in grace as he told me all these. I felt awed that I’ve been given this opportunity to be a friend to a man who is very committed and spiritual, yet who is not self-righteous. “He added that the act of resisting these evils and knowing that it will bear fruit in the empowerment of man, even without the guarantee of a grand plan for changing these structures, is what he calls patience. “ ‘What commitment!’ I said in my mind. Without introspection and with a only a set of dogmas of vanguardism, one would dismiss him as naïve. “But, think again. Isn’t this a display of deep, genuine commitment because he has reached a level of dedication to his fellow humans that he would serve them unconditionally, at all times, in all political seasons? “Isn’t this the more realistic and solid commitment? Can we really carry on our shoulders, on one generation’s shoulders, the responsibility of saving man from himself? From self-destruction? “Or is it more realistic to focus on the most urgent expression of this problem in a given period of time and then work on solving this? “But to what direction? The answer to this is to move in the direction of liberation and not to confuse the direction with the immediate problem that has to be solved.” Much later I would get to read Neale Donald Walsch saying in his Conversations With God trilogy that whatever we do is a “Statement of Who We Really Are,” and that we should not have any attachment to the result. It saddens me that readings like that and my overall active engagement in conscious spiritual growth could only come into my life after Cita had gone home to our Source. I could have shared the many insights I now have to help ease her painful confusion. I’m glad that Fr. Ton was ready with his answers at the time when I, too, was sharing Cita’s earlier confusion. Continuing from the logic she had apparently started on, I have since had a paradigm shift myself. This is described in a passage toward the end of my latest book, Odyssey of the Filipino Voter: Exciting Adventures, Little Progress (Pre-Election Edition, 2004), which says on p. 136-137: “Some people … would probably say I am very disrespectful of government. Well, the history of governance in this country has not given me any reason to give it more respect than I feel now. “And the summary of my “personal policy” toward government is one of “maximum tolerance.” It taxes us to death while shortchanging us on basic public services (which are getting privatized). It sells us and our children and our children’s children down the river. It makes glowing claims and promises and, shortly afterwards, justifies its utter failure to fulfill or validate them, blaming the citizenry for ‘over-dependence’ and blaming specific groups of people for engaging in ‘destabilization.’ “Still I would not think of raising a call to overthrow it now – that would be too much bother, and in that case all my time and energy would be spent on fighting and hiding, instead of helping solve the people’s problems that the government should have prevented or solved, to indicate any value to its existence. “No way! I would rather spend quality time and enthusiastic energy on helping the people attain direct self-empowerment through synergy-building. So that whenever government or any of its functionaries does something good, the people will be prepared to maximize on it, and whenever the government goes on its usual performance pattern, we will be able to resist or to cope, whichever response the people might deem to be more prudent at any given time.” Cita left her family and friends with lots of insightful and inspiring thoughts. Among these is a very loaded outline of her thoughts on spirituality, written two months before she went ahead. She gave the first copies to her close friends Sr. Mayang Grenough and Fr. Ton Danenberg, with a cover letter that said: “Here is a copy of an outline of a group of ideas that came to me that Easter Morning. I think it is an inspiration. I don’t know what to do with it. I don’t know what to call it (if it is an outline for a course, a module, an article.) But this reflects my views of developing spirituality on three levels.. I’d like this to serve the new activists and if it proves lasting, a few more generations after them, so that they may renew and develop a stronger spiritual foundation during one of these darkest moments of Philippine society’s history. And so that they may anchor themselves to the Highest Good and Truth which will serve as their undying beacon in the darkest nights of searching, and as their source of courage to face the truth no matter how it hurts.” Cita wondered aloud whether Mayang or Ton would appreciate this and whether they would have the opportunity to develop it and share it with others. I told her I was confident they would, “but the person who might appreciate this the most and do the most work on it may be someone (she) would not even get to meet. Who knows?” She nodded in agreement. 3 April 1994 / Easter Sunday This is in loving dedication to the succeeding generation of activists: that they may have a strong spiritual foundation in a chosen life of full commitment and service to the people; that in a life that will test human endurance and bring them to terms with human foibles and frailties, they will not lose touch with their limitless inner resources found in their spirit in unity with the Ultimate Source and Power, and that they may find themselves accountable to the Highest Good and Right in their exercise of power or when they are at crucial crossroads. I. The Christian Advocate A. The Essence of the Human Being - the Essence of Life/the Mystery of Life - the Purpose of Life B. Serving God is serving our fellow human beings - God emphasized on the poor, weak and oppressed. C. Living by a code of ethics that upholds: 1. Love for our fellow human beings 2. Serving what is good (moral rectitude) 3. Living by the Truth, with moral and intellectual honesty that is not self-righteous, condescending or judgmental. 4. Asserting human rights and fighting for justice 5. Fighting sin 6. Living by the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi.
II. Christian Community Living A. We need One Another We must help One Another We are all Children of God “God arouses in us the concern for unity among all people, since we all share the same nature.” (Acts 17:16) B. We will create the Kingdom of God on Earth. God’s plan for salvation includes salvation on Earth; salvation from poverty, oppression and exploitation. The structures of poverty, oppression and exploitation are not God’s plan. They are man-made. C. We need to participate in sectoral movements, political movements that resist these structures and fight for freedom, justice and equality. D. We need to fight together the sins of men vs. men; the sins of man vs. nature; the sins of man vs. God. —Differentiate sin from mistakes, limitations, weaknesses. —Human beings are worthy to themselves, to God, and to society despite their mistakes, limitations and weaknesses. III. Spirituality and Faith A. Essence/purpose in Life Essence of Humanity B. Our God is a God of Love —not of fear —not of Superstition —not of fanaticism C. Spirituality in Activism, in Movements —in the broad and deep unity in truth —in the unity in upholding justice —in achieving oneness, or union of individuals to become part of the bigger entity —in attaining salvation and freedom
D. Personal Spirituality 1. The quest for one’s true self as basis of love for GOD — to be able to “worship God in truth and spirit” —to have the courage to accept one’s self as she/he truly is —to appreciate life and people as they are 2. Quest for spiritual maturity —attaining discipline and control (of one’s urges, emotions, desires, tendencies, etc.) —overcoming, controlling fears —understanding the spiritual quest of others and helping them 3. Quest for Purification —overcoming one’s dark side; healing the wounds of the past. —transcending one’s limitations and uniting with the Great Oneness, the Alpha- Omega, God —developing/committing to an eternal relationship with God —living the Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi —attaining a series of Spiritual transformations. |
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